The Amityville Horror

  No not the crappy Ryan Reynolds remake, I mean this one...

  Yes, the original 1979 horror classic (staring James Brolin & "Superman's" Margot Kidder), perfected the art of the "Killer House" movie.

  It may be a little cheap for some, but in my opinion, that's what makes it good.

  Many movies have tried to copy the success of The Amityville Horror (including six sequels and the 2011 movie "Dream House"), but none have been as good.

Scream 1-4

The original Scream...originally designed to be a spoof. A parody of all things cliche horror. But little did we know in 1996 that Wes Craven (director of Nightmare on Elm Street and Last House on the Left) had inadvertently created a masterpiece. What was once a generic, everyday Halloween mask has now turned into an icon (almost) equal to the hockey mask or striped sweater we all know and love. With an awesome soundtrack and great cast (who doesn't love Rose McGowan?), Scream has joined the list of classics...at least in my book.

They're in a movie, they know they're in a movie, there's a movie being made about them, things are different but they're still exactly the same.....
Like any fantastic stand-alone movie, somebody got the bright idea to make a sequel...and then another...and another. Now this is to be expected. It happened to Halloween, Friday the 13th, Hellraiser, Chucky...the list goes on. What makes this sequel special, however, is how damn self-aware it is. It's like a Terminator. Or a porn star that stares at the camera the entire time. But somehow, it hooked me right in, a feat most sequels are incapable of.

Most people think that Scream 3 is the weakest link in the chain. I tend to agree. It doesn't feel like much effort was put into it...like it was just thrown together. Its only saving graces were Parker Posey and Jay & Silent Bob. The whole "anything can happen, rules don't apply" premise also tries just a little too hard to keep you thinking Sydney is going to die, when it's very obvious to the astute moviegoer that she won't. But it did manage to tie everything together in a nice, paradox-free nutshell.

In Scream 4, we're expected to believe that a.) this isn't just a random flick tacked onto the end of a trilogy, b.) Sydney Prescott has a cousin that nobody knew about or mentioned over the course of 15 years, and c.) Hayden Panettiere is a legitimate "bad girl." Something's wrong here...
A C+ at best, this movie seems like nothing more than a way to get Neve Campbell one more last-ditch effort at stardom. Even Scream 3 made more sense than this.

Come back tomorrow for more horror greatness!

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th, directed by Sean S. Cunningham and staring Kevin Bacon & Betsy Palmer.

  Made in 1980, this movie gave thousands of teens (and kids) enough nightmares to last a lifetime. If you've seen Friday the 13th (and if you haven't then why the hell aren't you watching it right now) then you know the horrific joy of of seeing the brutal slaying of stupid, hormone drivin' teens in the middle of the woods.

  My favorite death is that of Jack Burrel (Kevin Bacon), he just got finished (ya know "finishing"), he is in a state of pure relaxation... happy... calm... then Boom an arrow slices up through his throat. 

  This kill and the movie as a whole can be summed up in a few words... Simple, yet bloody entertaining.

  Now stop reading this and go watch the damn movie... If you dare!!!!